Week ?: No Smoking

Ok, at some point I have to stop myself and ask: What is your problem?! I mean, you celebrate each new beginning as an early victory, and yet, you canNOT comply. Damnit!

Fact: I'm actually just off a smoke break and feeling . . . goooood.
Fiction: I'm pissed at myself.

So I'm feeling kind of good for the wrong reasons. I'm relaxed yet reflective about how this whole not-smoking thing is turning out. Turns out: I'm not that consistent. I continue to see reasons why I should and how committed I'll be but in the end, will I actually follow them? So far, not so good. In the last few weeks I've even stepped up my activity level, and even changed my eating habits. How can I justify upgrading one lifestyle only to counter it by degrading another? I swear humans are habitual and stupid. I'm just plain losing faith in myself and feel that a cigarette is the only damn thing to console me. In fact writing this is making me feign another one.

I should be telling this with a sigh, somewhere ages and ages hence, two roads diverged in a yellow wood, and I, I took the one where commitment fades off, and that has made all the difference.

Fiction: I use this last quote because it fits the mood I'm in: poetic and pensive.
Fact: Really, its one of the very few I have memorized. Thanks Ms. Shaw (6th grade teacher)!